I don’t enjoy hating things, people or themes. I can dislike. I can be afraid. I can firmly disagree, but hate is not an emotion I experience much, especially in the Lolita fashion context. Still, there is this challenge – so I guess I will make it more into “10 things I experience uneasiness with in Lolita Fashion”.
I think shoes are one of my lifelong enemies. Not that I don’t like the general idea of shoes or something, some look quite good. The thing is – I have some orthopedic problems. My feet just don’t like me. I can’t wear heels. Even 3-4 cm heels can be really horrible for me. Plus, my feet dislike most kinds of shoes. When I buy shoes, it is up to them if I buy or not. Thus, I can’t buy shoes via the internet. I have one over the counter thing for making shoes comfortable, so I can walk around with my Bodyline white shoes for about 1.5 km without having to flinch (though the day after might be very painful). Luckily, most Lolita meetups don’t require much walking, but if they do, I plan on wearing my trustworthy Teva-Naot shoes, which my feet approves.
And this is why I have 2 pairs of lolita shoes. And I almost exclusively use only one of them.
- Human behavior
By “human Behavior” I mean all the shit that you can find in the lolita community. I experienced some of this shit as well; I was sexually harassed in a meetup (A Lolita grabbed my breast without my consent), was posted on CGL, dialed with some transphobia, and had some silly fights with people, most of the time because I ment one thing, and they understood something else.
These experiences were not nice at all.
Yes, I did some shitty things too. Probably I still have lots of “ita” coords.
Human behavior is hard and complicated, and people do sometimes shitty things. I believe that most of the time they do them because everybody can make mistakes. I think I can make things better for me and others in the community, but this will take time.
It took me some time to feel confident again in my community, and I am glad that I feel welcome again. Nowdays I know better how to deal with needless drama, and also how to be more kind.
- Angelic Pretty
I just don’t like their style. They have some interesting blouses, and some of their non-print designs are very nice, but most of their things are just “not my thing”. I find that their pieces are disharmonious in my eyes.
I am very happy for the people who like them, though, and I am always happy to see AP coordinated well.
- Empire Waist dresses
I have a tiny upper body and a big butt. It used to be so big it gave me some extra puff 🙂 (smile). I lost some weight in recent years (not on propose, thought), but my proportions are still the same. I just look hideous in empire waist dresses, and I have no idea how petticoats work with them.
So yeah, not for me.
- Prints that are actually one piece of a big old drawing
I never managed to finish reading the book “The Lady and The Unicorn“, but I do remember that someone said in the book that a tapestry should be pretty from afar and from near. That if you stand far from it you can adore the whole picture, and if you stand near it you see all the small details, and are not overwhelmed by the huge drawing. My take on Lolita fashion is quite similar. I like to see both the whole coordinate, but also, to see all the little details and patterns – and thus the importance of high quality lace and fabrics. That is why, in my opinion, big drawings, that should be looked from far, are not a really good choice for a print on a Lolita dress. They can be coordinated well – and from far they look lovely, but I find them to be overwhelming from near, because of the big details.
Lolita coordinates are so pretty and puffy, and… expensive. The puff means that you can knock things off without noticing. They are so pretty and expensive that I am afraid to ruin them by climbing on trees, or eating Falafel in a Pita (a common street food in Israel), or just touching something dirty, like… I love to do when I wear my regular clothes. Some time ago, I got my white sock dirty while wearing Lolita, and it was so unpleasant. I only thought how to hide or get rid of the stain till I got home and could put it in the wash.
- Crosses and over religions themes
Living in a non-christian country means things like crosses and other religious symbols can be viewed differently when in countries where it is the part of life. People can get offended by crosses in Israel (due to historic reasons) or assume you are christian, which can mean you might be harassed for that. Also, in Israel their is a lot tension between religion and secularism, meaning that every little thing can open a debate about stuff. Also, it just feels wrong, to disrespect a religion by using it’s symbols and teams for aesthetic reasons that has nothing to do with faith. Keep religion out of my cloths.
It is not fast (once took me over a month). It takes tons of money for “custom fees” (and additional 35 ILS for just receiving the package, if it is over 75 USD they can take 300 ILS without blinking). It means phone calls from the mail services, and it generally sucks. Maybe EMS is great in other places, but I just despise them.
Their is a russian saying that goes like this: “любишь кататься, люби и саночки возить” or in English “If you love to ride the sleigh, you should love to carry it as well”. the phrase itself is usually translated as “No pain, no gain”.
I don’t mind ironing my clothes that much, actually. The problem is that it can take a long time to do so, and that I have to do it every time. I can’t just wear Lolita whenever I want to. I have to iron the garments first (even if I try to hang them as neatly as I can in the closet). Some garments are better then others, especially if they are not 100% cotton, but this can still be pain in the ass, especially if I am in a hurry.
What I try to do is to iron my coord the day before, or start getting ready to going out at least 2.5 hours before I have to go out (or 4 hours if I want to put some makeup as well).
So yes, I prefer to iron on the day before.
- Other stuff!
Things I don’t want to elaborate about like noisy restaurants in meetups (all of them, a hell for me as a person with SPD), people stopping me (as a part of a group) to ask about lolita fashion when I just want to go and pee, people taking photos without permission (Just ask! I will probably pose and smile!) and the weather. The weather is always an issue.
But in the end of the day, I just LOVE Lolita fashion, even if sometimes some parts of it are not as nice as I want them to be. Or else, why am I writing this blog post?